It’s my birthday! To celebrate I’m sharing 25 life lessons that I’ve learned in my 25 years on this beautiful planet Earth as an old soul.
I never really “felt” my age. Sometimes I feel like a giant kid laughing at fart jokes. Other times I feel like an ancient raisin supporting people on their spiritual and entrepreneurial journey.
I turned 25 today (at the time this post is published). I can’t believe that it’s been a quarter of a century that I’ve gotten to live and play on this planet.
I used to have a hard time reflecting on what I’ve accomplished, learned, and received so far. As a visionary thinker, I was always so focused on the next big thing.
Yes, a good dose of futuristic thinking is healthy and empowering. But being stuck in the future doesn’t serve anyone – just like being stuck in the past.
So today, I’m happy to be here with you and sharing 25 lessons that I’ve learned in my 25 years on planet Earth as an old soul, spiritual being, and happy human.
1. My Worthiness is My Birthright
When I arrived on earth as this charming human, I came with nothing but myself. My worthiness was completely intact – without a single thing on the outside needing to validate or prove it. It’s taken me some time to come back home to this truth, but I’m eternally grateful that I can always find respite in it’s arms. I’m worthy AF and so are you.
2. I Wasn’t Meant to Work For Anyone But Myself
My first job was in high school and working at a movie theater (it’s actually where I met my husband). Even though I was always a hard worker at any job, I also always hated working for someone else. I’ve never felt more “at home” than in running my own business and working for myself.
3. Life is Serious AND Fun
I’m committed to using this one life to create an impact on the world and to share my message. I truly believe that we are all here for a reason. That being said, life is also supposed to be really f*cking fun. I have a tendency to take things a little too seriously and I’m letting that weight lift off me as I grow older. #benjaminbuttonstyle
4. I Deeply Fear Boredom
Maybe it the Gemini in me. Maybe it’s the millennial. But one of my deepest fears is boredom. Not just boredom because Jeramia got up from the dinner table and my first instinct is to check my phone (though I’m definitely working on that). I’m talking hollowed out, dead inside boredom. I think some of my constant “go-go-go” energy comes from running away from this type of boredom like the boogie man.
5. Receiving Support is AWESOME
We weren’t meant to ever go it alone. There’s always someone there to support us. Whether that’s a physical person or someone from #teamotherside, we always have support available to us. And receiving that support feels…f*cking incredible.
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6. We’re Spiritual Beings Having a Human Experience
I used to have such a nasty relationship with spirituality because it was tainted by my personal history with religion. Now that I’ve had my own spiritual awakening, it’s completely changed the way that I see the world and live my life. We’re souls in bodies and I’m always learning and trusting that my soul already knows the way. As I’ve developed my spirituality, I also started to see some of the beauty in (parts of) religion that I used to be so averse to.
7. I’m a Cat Person
You might not believe it by watching my Instagram Stories, but I used to think that I didn’t like cats. My parents never had good things to say about cats and I internalized their beliefs. But Jeramia introduced me to the joy and delight of cat parenting and I’ve been in love since! With him and the cats.
8. I Don’t Need to Internalize My Parents’ Beliefs
Just like I believed everything my parents said about cats, there are A LOT of other beliefs about the world that I learned from my parents. Paying for drinks at a restaurant is excessive. Staying small is safe. Happiness is fleeting. And relationships are developed in the little moments. It wasn’t until recently that I started taking stock of these beliefs and choosing which ones I carry forward and which ones I let go of. The more I do this work for myself (and my clients), the more that I trust that even if I don’t believe the same things that my parents do, I’m still worthy of love and belonging.
9. Relationships are a Co-Created Experience
We’re always contributing to the dynamic of our relationships. There’s never a situation that’s entirely one person’s fault or creation. This truth has helped me from attacking and blaming people (myself included) when things aren’t right and showing up as a better person in all of my relationships. I can take my power back in all situations and take ownership for the energy that I contribute.
10. Boundaries are the Bees Knees
I love setting boundaries and having boundaries set for me. For real. As part of that co-created relationship, we need to be direct in communicating our wants and needs. If we don’t, anything and everything if left up to interpretation. No one is a mind reader and everyone is doing their best. When I clearly communicate my boundaries, I’m helping the other person by being direct. And I get to receive the same in turn when other people set their boundaries.
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11. It’s Not a Big Deal if They Don’t Text Back
I used to get so butt hurt when it would take people a long time to respond to me or if they wouldn’t get back to me at all. It would trigger my wounded belief that I wasn’t worthy of love or attention. But now, I give people (and myself) the grace they deserve and find other ways to get my needs met if they don’t have that capacity at the time.
12. I’m a Writer
I never used to call myself a writer. Partly because I didn’t think I was very good at it and because I didn’t identify with that part of me as a person. In the past year, I’ve received more and more feedback about my writing. I’ve started coming out of my shell and owning writing as one of my gifts. Now, I love writing for my clients, my audience, and myself.
13. Treat Positive and Negative Feedback the Same Way
We’re used to hearing how to “deal with” negative feedback because it makes us uncomfortable. So we develop methods to process the information and let ourselves move on (coping mechanisms). However, because positive feedback feels good, we don’t usually take time to process it. I started processing all feedback equally. I ask myself if it’s true, if it’s constructive, and if there’s any action that I want to take from it – regardless if it was a reflection that I’m “so gifted” or “too talkative.”
14. Love and Relish the Unknown
I used to be such a control freak and planner. It’s because I didn’t trust myself to handle situations on the fly. But a huge part of entrepreneurship is managing and trusting the unknown. As I’ve learned to think on the fly and exist in a space of “wtf is going on or going to happen next?”, I learned to trust myself more. In turn, this trust has allowed me to love and relish the unknown. Because usually, it gives me something that I never could have imagined for myself.
15. I Have Abandonment Issues – And I’ll Always Stay With Myself
I never thought that I was affected by my adoption. My mom always painted my sister as the poster child for “what it looks like to have abandonment issues.” She also told me that many people look at adoption as a “win-win-win” for all parties when really it’s a “loss-loss-loss.” It wasn’t until recently that some of this pain opened up for me and I recognize it’s something I’ll have for the rest of my life. But no matter what happens in my life, I know that I will always stay with myself.
16. Life is Too Short to Not Use Your Rewards Points
It’s such a scarcity thing, but I used to HOARD my rewards points and gift cards. I thought I was saving them for when sh*t hits the fan or I’m broke AF. But what really happened is that I would squirrel them away and never use them. They’d expire or I’d lose the gift card. Life is too short to not use your rewards points. Get that Trentra Dragon Drink, girl. You deserve those stars.
17. When the Same Sh*t Keeps Happening, It’s Your Job to Change
My mom once told me “when the problem’s with everyone, the problem’s with you.” Now, I admit that when I was crying and feeling rejected, this wasn’t the most timely delivery. But the message rings true. When the same sh*t keeps repeating, there comes a point where you have to ask yourself, “what am I doing to create this for myself?” It’s all part of the co-creation. This has helped me break so many patterns in my family, friendships, and business. And allowed me to receive the amazing things in life that I really love because I created space for more. If you’d love to do the same, come hang out with me this week in Virginia!
18. I Have Zero Control Over Timeline (and I’m getting more okay with that)
“Time is irrelevant.” One of the big takeaways from my recent mastermind retreat. I get impatient with my life and my business – and mostly, myself. But just because I want things to happen in a certain timeline, doesn’t mean that they actually will. There are so many other factors that go into creation other than just my desired timeline. Which is actually a good thing because I wouldn’t want all that responsibility. So I’m working on taking the pressure off and letting things unfold as they’re meant to.
19. Astrology is Totally Real
LOL. I never would have said a few years ago. I used to read about my sun sign and scoff like “that’s so generic/not me/other skeptical thing.” But since I’ve gotten into Human Design, read my moon sign, and re-read my sun sign with a little more awareness, I’m sitting there like “THAT’S SO ME” and getting all uncomfortable because I feel so seen. Just like Myers-Briggs, astrology is here as a tool to help you understand yourself and how you operate in the world. I’ll receive all the support that’s available to me!
20. Pick Up #AllThePennies
I used to dream of the day that I “didn’t have to” pick up a penny off the ground because I’d “have enough money.” But now, I could close a $20,000 sale and still pick up a penny screaming “thank you Universe!” in the parking lot. I love to receive and letting all the magic flow into my life. I even have a jar where I put all the coins that I find with a label that says “the Universe pays me to be me”. And you betcha I’m taking it to the bank when it’s full.
21. Coaching is Healing for All Parties
Coaching is an intimate and personal relationship. Especially when you’re doing healing work. But it’s not just the responsibility of the coach to hold space and support the client. Every one of my client relationships has been healing for me as the coach in some way. It’s one of the most delightful surprises of my work. #NeverNotReceiving
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22. I Want to be a Mom
This surprises my parents every time I say it. But I’m so excited for the day that I get to have children of my own. The ultimate gift that I want to share with my children is to love themselves and to feel powerful in sharing their gifts with the world. When I realized that, it’s like my whole business made sense.
23. I Get to Ask for What I Need
Not only to I get to ask for what I need, but it’s my responsibility. I used to be so burned out trying to meet everyone else’s needs (sometimes without them asking). Which wasn’t good for me or them. I was always wondering who would do the same for me (spoiler alert: it’s me!). Now, I focus more on myself and communicating my needs clearly to those around me. Asking for what I need (like boundaries bc they are boundaries) is good for me and the other parties involved. This practice has truly changed my life.
24. Life is a Million Mirrors for My Inner Being
When I set unrealistic expectations of people, I was setting unrealistic expectations of myself. I was pushing myself to do everything and be everything for the other person. But when they didn’t do the same for me, I resented them and myself. Truthfully, everyone is doing their best. I remind myself of this all the time and when I’m feeling angry or frustrated at someone or a situation, I ask myself what part of me I need to love, forgive, and accept. Everything happening on the outside is happening for me (not to me) and it’s mirroring back what’s happening on the inside so I can heal and reclaim my power.
25. I Already Have It All
I had a dream one night that part of my head was starting to dissolve and Jeramia tried to rush me to the hospital. It got to the point where I knew I wasn’t going to make it and started telling him, “thank you for being with me and loving me. Every moment with you was the best of my life.” It was one of the most realistic dreams I’ve ever had.
I woke up and realized that in my last moment on Earth, all I want to do is be with my husband in love and gratitude. I told a friend and she asked me what I would do if I had one day left on earth and I said “be with my husband and write.”
I have it all. Love, belonging, purpose, a way to express myself, and a beautiful relationship with myself (that last one is the most important). No matter what happens, I know that I’m worthy of it all and that I can create it in my life because I’ve chosen to commit to and stay with myself.
Thanks for the beautiful ride, life. Here’s to another 25 years together!
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