When you first start money healing, it might feel incredibly overwhelming. Once you start unearthing those core wounds, it might feel like everything comes toppling down.
The house of cards has fallen.
People ask me all the time “how do I heal my money relationship?” They want actionable steps to do every day, week, month and so on.
While I love clear action steps as much as the next person, I always offer these with a reminder that they aren’t the “fix”. Action steps are great to have clear direction.
But if we look to them to provide the formula for success or roadmap to a specific destination, we’ll always feel like they fall flat. Because we’re asking more from them than they can give us.
Healing yourself is a lifelong and complex process. There is no destination or state of “fully healed”.
To honor the beauty, complexity, and journey of healing, I’m sharing the five dimensions of healing that I believe are necessary for a holistic approach to healing your money relationship.
Your ego is the voice in your head that narrates your life. It’s constantly judging, evaluating, and telling stories about what’s happening in the world around us.
For example, if you walk outside and you think “it’s cold out”, that’s your ego narrating your experience. Your body already received all the signals that it’s cold. But your ego wants to feel in control. By placing judgment on the situation, it feels like it has ownership over the cold and it’s not victim to it.
The ego’s job is to help us survive. Therefore, it loves control, safety, and the known. The ego is helpful to tell you if it’s safe to cross the street.
But many of us have overactive egos that are trying to protect us from any emotional pain or discomfort. The ego steps in to overthink things, get caught up in assumptions, spinning stories, and telling you “the real reason” that person didn’t sign on to work with you (even if it’s not the REAL reason). It’s trying to keep you safe and comfortable.
The goal of ego work is not to eliminate the ego. But to soften its presence. So you’re no longer victim to blindly reacting (emotionally or physically) to what it says.
The shift we want to make with ego work is to become the witnesser of the ego. Watch the game, don’t play it.
This subtle, but powerful shift allows you to use the ego as a tool to better understand yourself and why you react certain ways to the world.
Examples of ego work include meditation, stream of conscious journaling, mantras/affirmations, limiting belief work, reframes, etc.
Core Wound Healing
Core wound healing is the act of processing past emotional experiences to move them through your physical, energetic, and emotional body.
There are three main types of processing that I support my clients with: emotional, mental, and physical.
Emotional processing is the act of staying with yourself through an emotionally intense experience. Instead of diving into your phone to distract yourself or getting caught up the ego narrative to suppress your feelings, you actively choose to stay with and be with yourself through emotional pain and discomfort.
This builds emotional resilience and shows to yourself that you will never leave yourself. Emotional processing a key part of stopping the self-abandonment cycle.
Mental processing is intellectually understanding and comprehending your emotional experience. I especially highlight this work in Radical Money Healing so that you get out of your ego narrative and into the present.
Physical processing is moving your experience through your body. This happens in two forms: doing or being. Doing involves a form of physical expression like walking or dance. Being is about using your body to slow down your experience so you can stay with yourself.
Learn all about core wound healing in this IGTV video.
The ultimate intention of core wound healing is presence. When you heal your old wounds, you no longer live your life through the lens of past trauma.
Examples of core wound healing are inner child healing, dance and other body movement, crying, journaling, meditation, and sharing your story.
It’s easy to think that we have to go it alone. But that’s an ego story that we use to protect ourselves from being vulnerable.
(The ego doesn’t like to be vulnerable because it goes against its fundamental desire for safety and the known)
You are not here to do it all alone. Money healing means learning to trust yourself, be with yourself, and stay with yourself. An expression of that trust and commitment to yourself is to let yourself be helped by other people and Spirit.
Receiving external support opens your capacity and willingness to receive support of all kind – including more money into your life.
If you’re always saying that you have to do it yourself and you can’t be helped (for whatever reasons the ego has “I can’t afford it”, “I need a guarantee”, “I don’t have the time”, “I need more clients”, “Not right now, but someday”), you’ll never let the right people help you.
You won’t hire the coach, you don’t join the community, or you won’t work with the therapist. You’ll hire people who aren’t a good fit for you so your ego can prove that “there really aren’t any good coaches/healers/therapists out there.”
The ego doesn’t want to be wrong. It doesn’t want to go outside the norm.
It’s up to you if you’ll keep living the narrative or let yourself get support outside of you.
Examples of external support are receiving money, honestly telling a friend how you’re doing, asking Spirit for help, asking a friend for help, asking for the sale, prayer, delegation (personally and professionally), hiring a coach/healer/therapist.
Conscious Wealth Creation
Conscious wealth creation means taking actions every day to contribute to building your wealth.
Healing your money relationship includes having money to heal with. Show up for money like you want it to show up for you: consistently, intentionally, and with love.
You can’t expect the $10,000 month if you won’t show up for the $5,000 month, the $2,000 month, or the $297 sale. Just like you’re asking money to show up for you, you have to put intentional effort into building this relationship.
Examples of conscious wealth creation include asking for the sale, consistent marketing, regular bookkeeping and managing finances, conscious investing (from power and love, not fear and scarcity), only offering services you love to provide, etc.
Having solid boundaries in your money relationship means acting in integrity with what you want and need.
Boundaries and self care are simply giving yourself what you want and need. I know there’s a lot of flashy stuff out there around self care. And a new trend of attacking that flashing stuff and saying “but I just want [insert simple thing].”
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what self care means to you. Self care is simply taking care of yourself. Reparenting yourself in the way that’s most supportive for your well being (and not according to someone else’s agenda/wounds).
What are you willing vs not willing to do to create the life that you want?
Examples of healthy boundaries: saying what you mean (yes, no, I need space) even when it scares you, taking breaks from growth, conscious spending and creation of money, radical honest with yourself (and by extension, with others).
You have so much power and autonomy in your life and healing journey, friend. Claim it as your own. Treasure it. Wield it with love and grace.
Keep healing, friend. I see you.
And if you’d like to stay in touch, grab my money healing guide below.