Is money always stressing you out in business? Learn these 6 money wounds that every entrepreneur should heal.
As an entrepreneur, one of the first relationships you’re forced to confront is your relationship with money. Revenue moving up and down. Not closing a sale. Navigating a new world of managing your business and personal finances.
Money comes at the forefront of your life.
But so many of us don’t want to talk it. We’re afraid of wanting too much, wanting too little, not wanting it in the right way, or wanting it at all.
I’ve talked to dozens of women about their money relationships. What I’ve observed is that even women making six-figures and more in their business still have money stress.
So many of us play the story of “hitting the X figure” mark as a solution to being free of money stress. But I found that without healing your money relationship, the same patterns keeping you feeling broke and stressed about money will reoccur no matter how much money you make.
Personally, money stressors used to send me in a complete tailspin. An overdraft fee, not closing a sale, or seeing less than I’d like in my bank account.
I’d get consumed by anxiety, shame, and overwhelm. I thought manifesting was a bunch of bullshit. This sent me into a flurry of trying to fix my business. Trying to tweak the messaging, post on Instagram more, network more, or do the thing that will finally fix this situation.
Only to be exactly where I started…and maybe feeling a little worse.
After replaying this pattern MANY times in my business, I started to realize that the stress I felt wasn’t actually about the money. These money-related events triggered deeper wounds in me. The fear that I wouldn’t be taken care of, my needs wouldn’t be met, I wasn’t good enough, or I didn’t deserve safety.
The more that I started to explore and understand these wounds, the less that money-related events sent me into a tailspin. And instead, I was able to make clear decisions in my business from a place of power.
Healing my money wounds changed my life. And I hope it does for you too.
I started making more money, having clients show up out of thin air, and felt more confident and safe in my money relationship than I thought was possible. Because I wasn’t letting my wounded inner child subconsciously run my business anymore.
Instead, my most powerful self was in charge. The version of me who trusts, knows, and shares herself generously with the world.
This is the true work.
Does money stress still come up for me? Yes, of course. But instead of spiraling into emotional turmoil, I see it as my inner child revealing her pain to me more and more.
So we can heal together.
That’s why the work that I do with my client goes beneath the money stress. We observe these as triggers for deeper wounds that need to be healed. These are the most common wounds that money-related stressors trigger.
The Security Wound
The security wound is the fear that you won’t be safe and secure. Often, this can immediately manifest as a fear of physical safety. But this also applies to emotional safety as well. Core money wounds to heal usually come back to safety or belonging.
A triggered security wound will instigate thoughts like “how will I pay my bills? How will I survive day-to-day? Have enough to eat? Have my needs met?”
Even when receiving money, it feels like there won’t be enough. The ego frequently engages in security threatening fantasies like being evicted, missing the payment, or other anxiety-inducing worst-case scenario fears.
Healing the security wounds comes down to allowing yourself to feel safe. When a money-related stressor triggers the security wound, stay with yourself in the fear. Show to yourself that you won’t abandon yourself.
An exercise that I recommend to my clients is to place your hands on your heart, take three deep breaths, then say “I am safe. I am held. I am loved.” Then hold yourself (physically, emotionally, and energetic) in the discomfort and pain until the emotional experience passes through.
The Worthiness (Mother) Wound
The worthiness wound is a wound to your divine feminine. It expresses itself as the fundamental belief that you are not enough. This belief also manifests as putting your worthiness in your value (like believing people will only want you based on what you do and/or give).
In terms of money, the worthiness wound shows up in the fear that you won’t make enough money. Thoughts like “there isn’t enough money, there will never be enough, or no matter how much I do/make, it won’t be (good) enough.”
For entrepreneurs, pricing your services is a direct reflection of your worthiness because your value = your worth. The worthiness wound often manifests as extreme pricing. Pricing rates extremely low from the fear that people “won’t think you’re worth it. So at least they didn’t pay a lot.” Or pricing extremely high with the hope that people won’t buy so they won’t have to find out that “you’re not worth it.”
Even during the sales process, the worthiness wound says that the rejection of your services as a personal rejection of you. It says that client leads saying “no” is evidence that you aren’t good enough.
Healing the worthiness wound is some of the most common work that I do with my clients. It’s an in-depth process. Ultimately, it comes down to choosing to be your independent person with your own life and beliefs without needing the validation or approval of your mother figure.
It’s breaking co-dependency in your mother relationship (regardless of how physically present your mother actually is). The exercise that I first recommend to my clients is writing about the earliest memory that you have with your mom. Then explore what she taught you about yourself, your self worth, and your place in the world – through what she directly taught you and modeled for you.
The Self Trust (Father) Wound
The self trust wound is a wound to your divine masculine. This wound expresses itself as the belief that you can’t be trusted. Especially in the doing over the being.
This manifests as rejecting or avoiding larger projects out of the fear that you won’t be capable of doing that much work, managing that much money, or having the ability to “deal” with the volume.
The self trust wound also shows up as a pattern of self betrayal of your energy levels. For example, forcing yourself to work to the point of exhaustion, illness, and burnout. Or seeing rest as weakness.
Entrepreneurs with the self trust wound often avoid money management activities like bookkeeping, checking bank balances, etc. The emotional relationship with money feels “out of control” in money relationship. Like money always have the upper hand or power over you.
To heal the self trust money wound, start with breaking the pattern of self betrayal. Every time you commit, show up, don’t get the results you want, then abandon, you break trust with yourself.
For entrepreneurs, this often shows up in wealth creation related activities like marketing, networking, and sales. Stay with and support yourself through your discomfort. The pain is part of you asking for love and to be seen.
The Belonging / Acceptance Wound
Related to the worthiness wound, the belonging wound is about feeling unworthy of social acceptance due to money.
Often, this wound is expressed as a rejection of self because “I don’t have enough money.” The individual sees money as a determining factor for worthiness of social belonging. You reject yourself from the social circle before others can reject you for being poor. The ego believes this rejection and the reason is an inevitable truth.
This wound also shows up as resentment towards friends for always wanting to do things that cost money. The individual doesn’t feel empowered to ask for different social activities.
To heal the belonging money wound, start with witnessing the jealousy and self rejection as an expression of pain. Notice when you’re isolating and rejecting yourself. Hold yourself when you see yourself withdrawing.
Advocate for your needs in your social circle and set boundaries. If people don’t respond well to your boundaries, it’s important to recognize that their behavior is an expression of how they feel about themselves and their lives. Again, stay with yourself in the discomfort.
When you notice a mean girl narrative playing throughout your head being jealous and judging others, hold space for her. Everything we do is an expression of love or an ask for love. Your inner mean girl is asking for some love since she’s feeling rejected and like she’s not good enough.
Punishment and Shame Wound
The punishment wound is a pattern of self flagellation when money-related stress arises. Related to the self truth wound, the individual doesn’t believe in their capability with money.
This often manifests as always looking for the direct payoff when investing in yourself. When things don’t directly “pay off”, the individual resents the investment, service provider, and money “wasted”. Instead of seeing a “disappointing” investment a growth opportunity and lesson to learned about self, money, business, what you do/don’t want, etc.
Entrepreneurs with the punishment wound often have black and white thinking about what’s “right” and “wrong” to spend money on. They judge how others spend their money and offer unsolicited advice when friends want to invest or spend money.
Ultimately, the punishment wound expresses itself as shaming the self and spending habits. The individual attacks self when making a “stupid money mistake” and has hyper-active self judgment around money.
Healing the punishment wound starts with reframing the importance of money. Money isn’t the life force that sustains your existence. It’s energy. Energy that supports you and gives you options.
Observe your ego when you talk about money, spending, and investing in business and personally. Notice that what the ego has to say isn’t always true. Infuse as much kindness and love to yourself in your money relationship.
I also recommend jouraling on any previous investments that “didn’t pay off” and to expand your perspective. What did you learn? What connections were made? How did you grow? How will this experience help you in the future. What else did to you receive from this experience even it wasn’t what you initially paid for?
Ready for more support in your healing journey? Check out how we can work together!