Heal your money relationship. Does money always feel super emotional, dramatic, and personal? These are four signs that you have a wounded money relationship.
Even if you’re a seasoned business owner, money stuff feels sticky. Managing money, making money, spending money, talking about money.
Money triggers all sorts of feelings within us because it touches our core wounds of safety, security, and worthiness.
I see so many women entrepreneurs flock to “ease and flow” or the latest and greatest marketing tactics thinking these will relieve the emotional pain in their money relationships. While I’m not against amping up your manifesting OR marketing prowess, I also want to call out WHY we rush to these methods.
We feel stressed with money so we think that more money will fix it. We make more money but still feel stressed so we think that better boundaries will fix it. We set better boundaries but maybe it’s the revenue streams that are off so we amp up our passive income.
Again, all perfectly wonderful things to do for yourself and your business. But if you’re doing them to “fix” the emotional mess in your money relationship, you’ll always be disappointed.
Because you’re compromising the integrity of your money relationship. Money cannot make you feel safe or worthy. Only you can.
That’s why I work with my clients to go beneath the money stress (and ego/limiting beliefs that come with it) so heal their core wounds. This is the work that actually takes the tension out of your money relationship and aligns it with the true source so you can heal it.
These are the top ways that I see wounded money relationships expressed in powerful women business owners. I say all these things to help you become more aware of yourself and your habits. There’s a hurt part of you who’s acting out in this behavior in an ask for love, attention, and to have their needs met. See that part of you. Love, forgive, and accept them. That’s how you start to heal.
(ps – if you know you need support with this work, check out Radical Money Healing.)
You Avoid Money
You avoid money related tasks like bookkeeping, checking bank balances, depositing checks and cash, paying bills and invoices, or having money conversations.
Your overall approach to money is “out of sight, out of mind”. Similar to avoidant money attachment. You frequently use distractions like Netflix binges, conversation deflection, and money positive mantras to numb and avoid any emotional discomfort with money.
When money stressed, you tend to blame others or external circumstances for your money situation. Like saying “my leads don’t understand investing” or “my audience isn’t big enough.” This benefits you because it puts the emotional experience on someone/something outside of yourself.
You’re Obsessed With Money
On the other end of the spectrum, obsession with money can also be a sign of a wounded money relationship. This might show up like constantly checking your bank balances, counting money, compulsively rushing to deposit money, or being unwilling to take distance from the “presence” of money.
In business, you can only see as far as the next sale. You’re closed off to connections if relationships don’t immediately represent your next client (or more truthfully, dollar signs). Income goals are the end all be all. You might obsessively add up your sales numbers with a sole focus to book out your program just to make money.
The money obsession leads to a disconnection with your inherent desire to serve and support your clients and students.
I also want to mention that having this money obsession isn’t about you being selfish or greedy. It’s a scarcity tactic because your inner child is in survival mode (i.e. “if I don’t take care of me, no one will). I think every entrepreneur I’ve talked to has experienced this at one point or another. The important part is healing your inner child out of scarcity mode – not shaming yourself.
You’re obsessed with planning out the worst case scenario and preparing for the day that it all comes crumbling down. You frequently day dream about the loss of your physical/material security (can’t pay the bills, I’ll get evicted, etc).
Scarcity practices also show up in our money relationship like squirreling away money or refusing to spend it for fear that it’ll disappear. I’ve also worked with clients who struggle to deposit checks and cash because once it’s in the bank, it can disappear.
You’re always mentally preparing for the day that money will abandon you.
Every interaction is transactional. Because you always need to make sure in advance that you get what you deserve and refuse to give without seeing an immediate return on investment, validation, or praise from the other person or entity.
Again, this behavior comes from a scared inner child who doesn’t feel physically, materially, or emotionally safe and secure. Healing the inner child is the root fix.
Personalization of Money
This is an expression of the worthiness wound in your money relationship. You see the rejection of your services as a personal rejection (ex “they don’t want to work with me = they don’t want me because I’m not good enough”). Not closing a sale is a reflection of your personal ability to make money and representation of your worthiness.
The amount of money in the bank is seen as a direct reflection of your personal worthiness and professional success. “More money makes me more worthy and successful. The more money I make, the more that I prove I’m good enough.”
Any unpleasant money related events feel like a personal attack on your individual security, worthiness, success, or a prediction of the future.
I see you, friend. You’re on the path to healing and I’m so grateful for you showing up for the work. Because as you heal yourself, you help heal the world.
For my personal and professional support in this work, learn more about Radical Money Healing.