All the experts say that consistency is key. Easier said than done. But no matter how many times you hear it, you’re still wondering “why can’t I be more consistent?”
I mean, it makes sense. If you want the results, you need to show up for them. Solid advice.
But I’ll be the first to openly confess that sometimes…I’m one inconsistent mofo.
Diets, Instagram, blogging, eating habits, email lists, workouts, you name it. I could wake up and say that I’m going gluten-free and give up before breakfast.
And while I like to lightly brush off my inconsistency by saying “it wasn’t for me” or “now’s not the right time” or giggle that it’s just my Geminii showing…
I’m also a f*cking mindset coach.
My inner coach is more than happy to see right through my bullshit and ask what’s coming up around my resistance. But thanks to said resistance, I usually don’t take the time to sit with what’s happening.
Then, before I even know it, my inner critic is more than happy to turn that resistance into SHAME.
I shame myself that I’m not consistent, that I can’t post regularly, stick with the new workout/eating plan, or “do what it takes” to get the results that I want (lol an inner me is already eye-rolling at how hyper-masculine that is).
And the shame cycle beings.
Because I feel ashamed, I don’t show up (because I don’t think that I’m worthy) and then I continue to shame myself for not showing up. I dig myself into a hole so deep that it takes 48 hours of solid crying in front of mastermind sisters to dig myself out of.
Ok, so what’s the deal? Why is it so damn hard to show up consistently in your life and business?
The Real Reason You’re Not Showing Up Consistently
I know that there are incredible experts out there all preaching to be consistent. Whether you’re trying to build your client roster, Instagram following, email list, workout prowess, or debloat factor, yes, you have to keep showing up for what you want.
Don’t get me wrong. I totally agree that consistency is key to building anything sustainable and lasting.
But I know that it’s also easy to slap the “be consistent” sticker on any ol’ piece of advice. Then, when you aren’t consistent, you attack yourself for not showing up.
So, I want to pair this advice with an open conversation about the sh*t that comes up when you start showing up for what you want.
Being consistent in your business isn’t actually about being consistent so you can JUST have more followers, subscribers, or clients.
By showing up for your business consistently, you’re really asking yourself to show up for yourself.
Because you’re the recipient of all the fruit your business has to bear.
Asking yourself “is it all worth it?” (all = working away at the Instagram posts, emails, blog posts, etc) is really asking “am I worth it?” Am I worth all the “work” so I can live the life that I want, work with the clients I want, receive the money I want, etc.
That underlying truth triggers all sorts of inner wounds around worthiness, belonging, betrayal, abandonment, and more.
Which is why we self-sabotage ourselves by not showing up consistently because we don’t think that we’re worth it.
I say “we” very intentionally here. Because I’m totally walking the path right alongside you.
How to Be More Consistent Without Hating It
I’ll be frank with you. The actual answer to that heading is really a lifetime of inner work. And if you really want to start seeing some big shifts, it’s probably us working together for 6-months or a year.
I don’t want to leave you without any actionable steps to take away. So, my worthy af friend, let’s chat about how to love yourself when you’re inconsistent (and how to start getting on the consistent path without being totally rigid).
Confront Your Resistance
As humans, our first instinct is to run away from pain or discomfort. But when it comes to the inner work and healing, it’s our job to dive head first into it.
When my clients are frustrated, overwhelmed, or afraid, I always like I ask them what the resistance has to say.
You are not your thoughts or emotions. Your thoughts and emotions are inner objects here to support and guide you. Negative feelings (while uncomfortable) always bear a message. If we aren’t aware enough to listen to the message, we usually cycle back to the same spot.
Or the common sensation of “I’m stuck.”
When you’re overwhelmed with resistance, it’s a great time to whip out your trusty journal and ask the resistance what it’s here to tell you. What does it have to say about showing up consistently?
Another angle that I love to use is what are you afraid will happen if you show up consistently?
Of course, you define what “consistent” means here. Sometimes, it can be helpful to have a concrete example like posting on Instagram everyday or sending weekly emails to your list.
Talk With an Expert
Seriously. When I first started doing inner healing work, I knew that I shouldn’t do it by myself. I recommend the same to anyone on their growth journey.
We’re not made to walk it alone. It doesn’t make you a hero to try to go it by yourself (though I’ve tried). In reality, it just makes you frustrated and tired.
This is exactly why I have my Magic Hour sessions. So you can access all of my heart, mind, and soul (from coaching to copy; mindset to business; healing to rising) in an open container.
These sessions are the perfect container for you to totally unravel, not have it all together, and find the beauty in your messiness. Truthfully, the less that you filter yourself and more that you unleash ALL of your frustration, the easier it is for us to get to the root of your struggle.
So, if you’re feeling like you need the support of someone who can hold space for you to deep, be seen, and held, book a Magic Hour with me so you can actually let it all go and get back into flow faster and easier.
Redefine What “Consistent” Means
When I create action plans with my clients, they often say “I’m going to post consistently on Instagram” or “I’m going to consistently blog/send emails/do the thing”.
To which I always say “what does ‘consistent’ mean?”
I ask because we’re so used to saying we have to be consistent, we don’t take a moment to define it in a way that actually works for us.
So, if you’re setting a goal to be more consistent in your life and/or business, define what consistent means to you in each context with a measurable goal.
Ex. Post on Instagram M-F
Ex. Email every Thursday
Ex. Workout every T/Th/Sat
Then, implement a system or strategy that will support you in being successful meeting that goal. Set aside the time you need in your calendar. Decide on how long you’re going to stick with this approach and when you’d like to revisit if it’s working for you or you’d like to tweak it.
Give Yourself Grace
You’re a human being. Not a robot. And frankly, my toaster can be inconsistent AF sometimes and I still keep it around.
It’s ok if you’re not always consistent; even according to your own definition. Life happens, sh*t comes up, and sometimes we really need to just give ourselves the grace to be human.
If you “fall off the wagon”, reframe the situation. You’re giving yourself space to recalibrate. You’re taking time to be generous to yourself before others. You’re taking time to be present with your life and what’s coming up.
Shame doesn’t serve anyone. So as soon as you can, let that sh*t go. And if you’re struggling to do it on your own, remember that you’re a powerful being and it’s okay for you to receive support from other powerful beings. Book yourself a Magic Hour so we can dive deep together, release the shame, and get back to you sharing your magic with the world.
Love Yourself No Matter What
When you came into this world, it was just YOU. Literally nothing else. You didn’t have an Instagram following or email list or bank accounts. It was just you.
You were enough then and you sure as f*ck are enough now.
We often fall down the rabbit hole of thinking that we need to amass great treasure on the outside to prove our worthiness and go around living our lives (subconsciously) to fill that void.
But the truth is, your worthiness is your birthright. Nothing on the outside gets to take away from or tarnish that truth. It’s frankly not even up for debate.
You are enough and worthy as is. No matter how much you show up. You don’t need to be consistent to prove anything to anyone.